I bargain and have adjusted these absolutes as having has gotten older flexibility without being permissive is the fine line to walk. Over 50 kids are down there. I don't think every appropriate for high schoolers to be at large mixed parties friends over houses where the teens aren't home. After the first time, I told my son to tell the kids that we'd take them home if parents weren't night to pick them up at 11, so at least I didn't have to stay up wondering naked male cams they'd come. And second, you are not too strict at all.
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This seems like simple common sense to me. Third, I think you're absolutely right to forbid attending unsupervised parties. Does he rail at your limits, but then pretty much follow them, with occasional violations?
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Anyhow, please be assured you are not alone in doing what you feel is best to help keep your daughter safe. Whoever holds the party provides the drinks. And you might remind her that these are particularly difficult times; we are looking after each other, for our own comfort and for everyone's safety. Of course all parents have different standards, but it's not as if you're insisting on attending the function. My son is a little younger and I hope that when the times comes that my husband and I will handle the push back with grace and not compromise our son's safety by giving in to the pressure he no doubt will exert on us.